Rick's Poetry: Payed in Fool

Payed in Fool
(c) January 1, 2002

My heart longs to be free
yet body still confined
to steel and concrete walls
that hold my bleeding mind

My spirit wishes flight
to stop the wretched pain
I'm trapped behind the bars
my life still wrapped in chains

The anguish and the fear
the sorrow and the strain
keep my mind in check
like a crimson stain

My future is on hold
still waiting patiently
for the key to turn
and free me of my grief

The curse of 80 proof
brought me to my knees
now I must do the time
until my soul is free

I have surely learned
and payed a gruesome price
I can never drink
I'll not pay with my life

by Ricky D. McKean

Rick McKean (1962-2011)

Rick McKean graduated a track star from Capital High School in Boise, Idaho. After serving in the U.S. Navy with the construction batallion and operating heavy machinery, and time in abroad in Guam, Rick was honorably discharged and took residence in Oxnard, California, near the naval base.

After working several years in various trades, including light aircraft maintenance, locksmith and auto repair, Rick worked for a paper pulp recycling plant in Oxnard until the late 90s. Expressing his love for the ocean, and despite physical limitations, he took up scuba diving and enjoyed good times with friends exploring the Channel Islands off the Ventura coastline. Rick suffered from depression and alcoholism.

The poetry on this site was written in 2001-2002 while an inmate at California Correctional Facility, Salinas, California. After parole, Rick again took residence in Oxnard, purchased a boat, and lived on the water in Channel Islands Harbor. Continuing his appreciation of nature and the environment, Rick worked in harbor maintenance, patrolling the harbor and collecting/dislodging debris that had washed in from sea.

Rick continued to live on his boat and attend AA meetings and treatment programs, and eventually was issued a driver's license and bought a car. In 2010, he drove his car to his home state of Idaho and visited his family whom he had not seen in many years. Despite numerous physicial limitations, Rick continued to live his life to the fullest extent, including handling nearly all of the maintnenance of his boat/home.

In late 2010, Rick bought a new computer, with the intention to publish these poems online. In January of 2011, Rick suffered an untimely death where he sustained a head injury repairing his boat, lost balance, and fell into the water, and succombed to the cold temperatures.

This blog contains Rick's Poetry.

(c) Ricky Dale McKean 2001, 2001

Rick's Poetry

Payed in Fool - January 1, 2002

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